Waiting
by Mara-Amber
Summary: A day, three people have waited fifteen years for this day to come. A Saito-fic =^^=. *REPOST* *COMPLETE*
1. Chapter 1

Standard disclaimers:  
As you all know, I don't own Rurouni Kenshin. Unfortunately Watsuki and some   
big name companies do. In this special case: This story has nothing to do  
with the real Saito Hajime =^^=.  
  
  
Warning:  
I'm not a native speaker, sooo: Mayor grammar and vocabulary mistakes might be  
ahead, hopefully you are WILL not BE distracted by them.  
  
  
  
WAITING  
  
  
Two boys tore open the sliding door and charged into the almost empty room   
where a woman with long black hair was kneeling in front of a table writing in  
a journal.  
  
The first, the younger one, stopped directly behind her, excitedly moving and   
blurting out his 'discovery'  
"Mum, a new shop opened near the Kobayashi's house! They are selling sweets."  
  
The other, seeming older, cast a glance at his brother. Hadn't he told him to  
stay quiet?   
"We want to walk across to have a look, if you would please give your   
permission."  
  
Sighing, the woman carefully laid the brush beside the journal on the table,   
and turned around and to face the boys.  
  
She was not an obvious beauty for her intelligence and strong character could   
clearly be seen in her features. Therefore she did not have the soft facial   
expression of a common woman's face. Her face revealed energy and a beauty   
that could only be seen with a second look. Judging from her strong   
personality and the experience that was reflected in her deep brown eyes, she   
had to be older than she appeared to be.  
  
"Please, you two, Stop running around. Making a mess and yelling won't get   
you anywhere."  
  
"Can we go? Please, Mum."  
  
"Of course, you can." She ruffled her younger son's hair and had to smile   
about his at his grimace of annoyance. He hated to be treated like a small   
child. She addressed her older son.  
  
"Keep an eye on him and be careful."  
  
Annoyed, both boys left the room murmuring and grumbling about an 'over-  
worried' mother, while she watched on, smiling lovingly.  
  
Relieved to be alone for a few hours she turned back to her writing. Looking   
down on the black symbols on the white paper, she remembered why she had   
started writing after her marriage fifteen years ago. Back then it had seemed   
a good idea to write down her thoughts, her feelings.   
  
But so much had changed since then, had changed since she thought she would   
have to deny her feelings. Now feelings had changed, not the surroundings as   
she had first assumed. Life had taken another curse.  
  
She crossed her arms in front of her chest tightly and hugged herself while  
closing her eyes, dreaming about her past.  
  
* 15 years ago *  
  
A man and a woman were standing alone in the middle of a room hugging each   
other, the woman was dressed in a bridal kimono.   
  
The man laid a hand under her chin, tilted her face up to him.   
"I must leave now, Tokio."  
  
She had spent all her tears in the endless nights before, and not a single   
tear formed in her deep, brown eyes during this moment she had feared so much.  
"I know, Kingo."  
  
"I promise, I'll come back when your obligations end."  
  
A sad, but hopeful expression appeared on her face.  
"I'll wait for this day to come."  
  
He bent over to kiss her a last time, desperately fearful of leaving her, and   
she returned the kiss with all the love and passion she held for him.  
  
Finally they broke their kiss and parted.  
  
"Good-bye, Tokio."  
  
"Good-bye, Kingo."  
  
The man left the room through the sliding door backwards, never turning, and  
the woman remained in the spot in the middle of the room, following him with   
her eyes until he disappeared into the darkness.  
  
**  
  
As if to rid herself of the memories Tokio shook her head, then stood up and   
went into the kitchen to prepare some tea. She was happy being alone, at not   
having the children around. She loved her little ones, but having peace and   
quiet was pleasant sometimes.  
  
She patiently waited until the water had cooled down and added the green tea,   
finally placing the tea-pot together with a cup on a tray, picking it up and   
carrying it back to her room.  
  
"Anyone home?" A male voice was heard from the entrance, and she knitted her   
brow and changed her direction, the tray still in her hands. She wasn't  
expecting a guest this afternoon, so who could it be?  
  
The woman headed towards the front door and greeted the unexpected, unknown   
intruder without having a closer look at him.  
  
"Good afternoon, can I help you?" She kept her head bowed, slightly irritated   
that the visitor did not answer.  
  
He was a tall man, slightly larger than her. His clothes indicated that he   
earned a good salary, for the material was of an exquisite quality, and his   
whole neat appearance indicated a well-off, cultivated merchant.   
  
'What was such a man looking for in the house of a police-officer?' she   
silently wondered.  
  
Gently, lovingly he addressed her by her given name  
"Tokio!"  
  
Finally she looked up to meet the eyes of her guest. Eyes in a friendly,   
honest, open looking face that seemed familiar, suddenly she recognised him.  
  
"Kingo!" The tray with the tea cup and pot on it fell out of her hands to the   
ground, scattering into A thousand little pieces.  
  
Minutes passed in which they only stared at each other, too many years had   
passed since their last meeting. Years that had parted them after they had   
once been so close, and shared feelings so deep that only a few people are   
allowed to experience them.  
  
Breaking the silence the man smiled  
"I found you."   
  
All his hopes had come true. Finally he was standing in front of the woman he   
had wanted to be with him all this years, but whom he had had to leave to   
stand back on that fateful day fifteen years ago. On this day he had had to   
watch her marry another man, by the order of her father.  
  
Timidly she returned his smile. He was familiar but also strange at the same   
time  
"I'm afraid it wasn't easy."  
  
"No, changing your name several times made it quite difficult for me."  
  
Again an uncomfortable silence fell upon them  
"Please come inside, Kingo." She underlined her words with a wave of her hand,   
but he looked down at the broken pottery lying between them.  
  
"Oh, I'll pick it up." Bending over, she reached out for the first piece.  
  
"Let me help you." Surprised, she watched him as he leaned forward to pick up   
the pieces of the broken cup.  
  
In silence they gathered the remains and went into the kitchen where Tokio   
started to heat new water for a tea.  
  
"I didn't think you would remember, Kingo."  
  
Lovingly with warm brown eyes, he watched every graceful movement of her,   
followed her with his eyes everywhere, never leaving her slender frame  
"How could I forget you? I promised I would come back after your obligations   
ended."   
  
"I didn't believe it. What we shared was too special to be true."  
  
"Yes, it was very special. It was something you only experience once in a   
life-time."  
  
She placed a new tea-pot together with two cups on a tray and picked it up,   
indicating him with a move of her head to follow her. He would have done this   
anyway.  
  
She set down the tray between them and poured tea into both   
cups, and again there was silence between them.   
  
Fifteen years divided them.  
  
He offered her a package wrapped in expensive paper with both hands,   
head bowed. She gasped.  
  
"I have a present for you, Tokio."  
  
Hesitant she reached out to take the package. Then she unwrapped it, it was a   
book, one she could never afford from the low income of her husband.  
  
"Thank you very much." She touched, caressed the book with her slender fingers.  
  
He cast a glance around noticing the room, judging it, and displeasure spread   
inside him. They were not poor, but it was visible that her husband was not   
the best earning man in the world.   
He would have been able to give a better life to the woman he loved over all  
these years. Anger raised inside him at the thought of her father who had   
refused his proposal and forced her to marry Saito Hajime instead. Why had he   
let this happen?  
  
He watched as she carefully laid the book down by her side and placed her   
hands back on her thighs. She appeared to be different from the woman he once   
knew. She was so full of life, energy, love back then. What did this man do to  
the Tokio he loved? Did he break her will, her energy? He couldn't help but   
watch her, her elegant movements, her graceful built figure, her   
characteristic face, but he was not able to speak. Something lacked, there was   
something missing INSIDE her.  
  
It was a rhetoric question, and they both knew the answer, but she had to ask,  
her hope raising.  
"What do you want?"  
  
"Come with me, Tokio."  
  
Shocked about by the direct answer her eyes widened, but her hands lying on   
her thighs clenched tightly around her kimono  
"It have been fifteen years. Are you sure?"  
  
The man reached out one hand over the tray and touched her cheek, lifting her   
head to force her to look at him  
"I've waited fifteen years for the day you would be able to leave him, Tokio.   
When you were married to him I wasn't able to interfere, your father didn't   
listen to me because in his eyes I was an insignificant insect. But now, his   
sons are old enough, your father is dead, and there is no reason to stay with   
him any-longer. Your obligations end here. Come with me."  
  
Her hands tightened even more  
"But I'm married to him, I have to stay."  
  
"Why? You wasted fifteen of your best years with him,you gave up your younger   
years that you could have shared with me. Why shouldn't you have the right to   
spent the rest of your life together with me?"  
  
Her hands were still tightened around the fabric of her kimono, and Kingo   
realised that she needed time to digest his unexpected appearance and so he   
caressed her cheek once more.  
  
"I still love you, I have never loved any other woman than you, Tokio. I know   
that feelings for me are still running inside you, you can't deny an emotion   
as deep as this. Think about it, I'll be waiting for your answer at the inn   
down this street."  
  
***  
  
She sat rooted to the spot while he left the room and the house.  
  
Fifteen years.  
  
Fifteen long years she had waited for this day to come, for Kingo coming to   
come back into her life.   
  
Fifteen lonely years she spent with Hajime instead of him.  
  
Fifteen years filled with laughter, joy, affection, shared experiences, and  
three children.  
  
But also filled with tears, hatred, arguments, anger, frustration, and endless   
discussions for she had never been someone who held back her own opinions,   
and convictions.  
  
Fifteen lively years of experience she had shared with Hajime, fifteen years   
she would never be able to forget.   
  
She stood and picked upthe book and walked towards their room, lost   
in thought, the book pressed against her chest, she slide the door open.  
  
The room she had shared for fifteen years with him -- now, she looked up and   
stopped dead in her tracks.  
  
He was standing at the other door that opened to the garden, leaning against   
it, his back facing her, smoking a cigarette.  
  
"You are home, Hajime?"  
  
"Seems so."  
  
"I.. I.. I'm sorry, I didn't noticed you coming home, I had a guest and..and.."  
  
"I heard you."  
  
She had to gasp for air.  
  
"I don't want to keep you, Tokio. You gave me fifteen years, that was more   
than I actually expected. I don't care. You can leave with him."  
  
He kept his back facing towards her, if he would turned she would be able to   
see his emotions, after so many years living with him she could tell from one   
look in his face what he was thinking. But he never turned, he continued   
smoking, his back turned to her.  
  
She stepped back through the door, and out of the room, closing it behind her.   
  
What did she really want?  
  
Smiling, she looked on the closed door, imagining her lone husband standing   
behind it.   
  
Fifteen years, -- her emotions had changed in during these years.  
  
Careless she set the book down on a bench standing beside her, she left the   
house and walked towards the inn, certain about her decision.  
  
***  
  
The man leaning on the opened door and lowered his head.  
  
Taking a drag from his cigarette, and inhaling he turned, thoughtfully looking  
at the door she had closed behind her. Exhaling.  
  
* Fifteen years ago *  
  
He was searching his new wife, there were still some ceremonies they had to go  
through. He heard voices in one room and stopped in front of it, reaching out   
one hand to open the door, but he recognised one voice and his hand stopped   
half-way.   
  
Tokio was talking with a man inside, and the moonlight shining though the rice-  
paper-walls showed the shadows of the two. He had watched as they hugged each   
other, kissed and heard their promises and finally their good-byes. He went   
back to the ceremony waiting for his wife returning to him with a warm smile   
on her lips.  
  
**  
  
Back then he didn't care, she was his wife after all -- why care about another   
man? But in fifteen shared years his attitude had changed. She had earned his   
respect and acceptance. Earned by intelligence, by her will to fight for her   
opinions and convictions, always well-grounded, well-thought-out in every   
discussion or argument they had, never being shallow. No, he smiled inwardly,  
he had to correct himself, sometimes she was shallow, but never about things   
they both considered to be important.  
  
After fifteen years sharing his life with her, she would go back to him, to   
the man he only knew through her eyes.  
  
He had never actually met him and she had never spoke of him, but he had seen   
it in her eyes. Every time her eyes showed a burning fire, a love, a passion,   
a devotion deep inside her, he knew it was another man she was thinking of.   
  
He had never been able to touch her emotionally this deep, she never let it   
happen. There was always a place inside her that she excluded him from. He   
knew she had feelings for him, but were they this deep?   
  
Remembering her holding his first son shortly after birth, a smile formed on   
his lips. She had been weak, exhausted but she didn't want to show it,   
especially not in front of him. She was holding his son in her arms, smiling   
proudly and happily, but he wasn't sure how to react to the small bundle and   
looked at her face.  
It was the first time he thought he had seen love in her eyes for him, not   
for another man, but he was not sure.  
  
He had always been able to see through people, their emotions, motivations and  
reasons.  
  
Yes, finally he was convinced. She would leave. There was no rational and no   
emotional reason to stay with him.   
  
He was alone with his sons, he did not need to wait for her decision and her   
words. Being cool and indifferent towards her would make it easier for   
her to leave him. She deserved some years with the man she cared for so deeply.  
  
He flicked away the cigarette and headed towards the kitchen but his glance   
fell on a new book left carelessly on a bench. Again a small smile appeared   
across his lips. He would never be able to predict her decisions.  
  
After fifteen years she was still able to surprise him.   
  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
NOW:  
I hope it is clear:  
Will she stay or will she leave?  
Solution in the second chapter.  
  
  
First posted: 3rd March 2002  
Revised and re-posted: 26th April 2002  
second re-post: December 11th 2002  
  
  
Mara 


	2. Chapter 2

Standard disclaimers:  
As you all know, I don't own Rurouni Kenshin. Unfortunately Watsuki and some   
big name companies do. (I should change this, I'm afraid this story has   
nearly nothing to do with Ruroken, except the name Saito Hajime)  
  
Warning as always:  
Mayor grammar and vocabulary mistakes might be ahead, hopefully you are not   
distracted by   
them. OOC! OOC! OOC!  
  
AAARRRRGGGHHH! I'm awfully sorry for the fluff here, please don't flame me.   
Saito is already after me, chasing me with sword drawn, I'm desperately   
searching my own   
sword, but I'm afraid, I'm lacking fighting skills, no match for him. You'll   
realise when   
he got me, Mara is dead then and won't be able to write anymore. I must have   
been on drugs  
writing this chapter, the plot developed a momentum on its own, I was not able   
to   
influence it.  
  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
DECISION  
  
After entering the inn and having a look around, Tokio discovered Kingo   
sitting alone at a table in one corner of the twilit restaurant. In spite of   
his friendly, open looking face she could feel the loneliness emerging from   
him and she could not help but feel sympathy for him as she approached him   
and finally stopped in front of him. Raising his gaze she saw hopeful   
expectancy in his eyes as he smiled warmhearted at her.  
  
"I didn't expect you this early, Tokio. Please, sit down."  
  
She nodded and took the place on the other side of the table, one the one hand   
to face him and on the other hand to have some space between them, to use the   
table as a barrier between them.  
  
Concerned about her needs and well-being he spoke to her a second time  
"Do you want something to drink?"  
  
He was as she remembered him, always polite, caring and full of understanding   
for those he liked and loved.  
  
"Some tea would be nice. Thank you."  
  
He waved the waitress and ordered some tea for both of them, they waited in   
silence until the tea arrived, both looking down at the table, sometimes   
lifting their heads and meeting the other one's eyes.  
  
Sipping her tea, Tokio decided it was time to tell him of her decision   
directly. "I won't come with you."  
  
His head dropped to his chest, he was afraid this could happen, but had   
repressed the thought till this moment. He would not give up this easily,   
leaving her behind with this man without a fight. He had waited fifteen   
years, he had a right to hear about the reason   
behind her decision and he lifted his head to meet her eyes once more.   
"Why?"  
  
Questioning she raised her eye brows, what did he want to hear? Why she   
wouldn't leave Hajime? Why she can't come with him? Once they had shared a   
closeness, they had been able to tell with one look in the other one's face   
about their thoughts. Looking at him now, she only saw his solitude, his   
fear, his hope she might change her mind, but not what he was thinking.   
  
Fifteen years changed a lot. She had a history with another man, now she   
was able to see through Hajime, not through Kingo.   
  
After some more minutes in silence Kingo realised she expected a more precise   
question. Or was she just thinking of an appropriate answer?   
  
"I can't understand you, Tokio. Back then this was all we ever wanted, being   
together, sharing our emotions, our life. Why has this changed? Changed in a   
way, that you decided to stay with him?"  
  
Realising what kind of answer he expected, she assured herself about what he   
wanted to know "Changed, so that I can't come with you?"  
  
In response he nodded,  
"Yes, I really don't understand why. What is speaking against coming with me?"  
  
There was an easy answer for this question, obvious, but not the real reason.   
He would recognise that, but she wanted to keep away from him the pain   
answering the truth  
"I'm married, I can't leave him."  
  
Struggling for her coming with him and realising the full reality of her   
refusal, despair raised inside him, he tried to fight it.  
"Being married is not speaking against leaving him. You never cared about   
conventions like this. I know you, this is not a reason you would accept, nor   
do I. Your father is dead now."  
  
She lowered her head, not able to stand looking in his eyes anymore, seeing   
the fighting feelings, the conflicts, reflecting in them  
"You are right, my father was the reason why I married Hajime and he is dead   
now. I had to follow his orders, this was one of the few conventions I   
accepted. But this is not the reason why I can't come with you."  
  
Frustrated at not getting the answer he wanted so badly he raised his voice   
and accused her, his hope was not destroyed yet, maybe there was still a   
chance to change her mind, to persuade her.  
"You are afraid of changes, Tokio, that's the real reason. You don't want to   
leave because you are afraid of the future. You have arranged your life, it   
is only natural that you don't want to change it. That is human."  
  
Slightly she felt anger raising. Did he thought the only reason for staying   
with Hajime was THIS? This cheap explanation was not her style, he should   
know her better   
"Excuse me, but I think you got me wrong, I was never afraid of changes."  
  
"Then, what is it? Don't try to tell me something stupid like you loving him   
and he loves you, you two can't live without the other. That is not true, we   
both know that."  
  
"Yes, That is true, Hajime and I are not as close as we once have been."  
  
She paused, resuming, sipping on her tea, gathering her thoughts. What had   
been the point where, the reason why she had decided to stay with her husband   
instead of going away with Kingo? Faith? Trust? Respect? Acceptance?   
  
Love was not the reason for staying, love would be a reason for leaving. Even   
more seriously than before she tried to express her thoughts in words.  
  
"What do you think? What is more important? Fifteen years living together   
sharing wonderful as well as horrible experiences and memories or a love you   
experienced in your youth? Did this love last till today?"   
Thoughtfully she sipped on her tea again, recalling the feelings she once held   
for Kingo.  
"You are more emotional when you are young, you have less barriers to let   
someone close. Growing up means for me that you realise that a love can't   
last for a life-time. What will last? A past built up in fifteen years or a   
love shared at the age of eighteen?"  
  
He was not satisfied with her answer yet  
"You can't tell me that you love him as you love me, Tokio, that's not true.   
This hasn't changed. I know he doesn't love you, so: why?"  
  
"This is not only about love, Kingo. If this would only be about love, I would   
leave with you. But I'm older now, other things are important for me. When   
you are young, everything seems so easy, the only thing you need is love, I'm   
sure you felt it too."   
Pausing she remembered the hurt she felt when he had to leave, leaving her   
behind with Hajime, a man she barely knew.  
"Being hurt once I never opened myself to another man as I did to you. It was   
special and I didn't want to get hurt again. Years past and I had to arrange   
my life with Hajime. Yes, you are right, I don't love him as I loved you, I   
never could. But in those years I gained something together with him."   
Noticing the clenched hands around his tea-cup, she had to concentrate, not to   
let her feeling of sympathy control her, changing her mind. She would hurt   
him even more as she already did.  
"I don't want to throw this away for a love I experienced as a young woman. I   
admit, this emotion has died. I gained a different feeling, the feeling of   
being respected and accepted for who I am by Hajime. I can't forget and deny   
fifteen years."  
  
Nearly defeated he lowered his head, his chin touching his chest  
"I realised it when I saw you the first time. Something was missing. Now I   
know what it is. You aren't able anymore to feel and share these deep   
emotions you once had."   
  
He looked down at his tightly clenched hands "You are right, emotions faded in   
these years, we can't bring back the strong, overwhelming feelings we had in   
our youth, we can't bring back our youth."  
  
Sadly she bowed "Yes, I guess that's right. I won't give up my life with   
Hajime for this faded feeling."  
  
Realising that she wouldn't change her mind, he had to try it a last time, the   
last attempt to persuade her, deep inside he knew it was futile, this would   
not bring her back to him   
"I am able to give you more than he ever can. My love and my business."  
  
She had to close her eyes, to keep away the sight of the broken man in front   
of her. Compassion was not a feeling on which she could built up a strong   
relationship, a new life. This man was not the man anymore she loved so dearly.  
"Thank you for your offer, Kingo. But you know, these are two things that are   
not important for me."  
  
"Yes, I know." Resigned his head dropped, the last glimmer of hope vanished,   
he knew this would have been futile, this was too shallow for her to accept.  
  
Sympathy still stirred in her seeing his resigned solitude, but there was   
nothing she could do for him.  
"I'm sorry, Kingo."  
  
His voice was life-less, hope-less, heart-less as he addressed her, telling   
her what he had been afraid of all these years.  
"I expected this would happen. Honestly I was afraid this would happen."  
  
Regretting having hurt him so much, she decided that her compassion would not   
help him at the moment  
"I hope you understand me."  
  
Thinking about it, he hesitated. Is it possible to weigh up an emotion against  
a past? Emotion against rational considerations? Only once he believed in an   
emotion, a love for this woman. In business, he would never rely on such   
uncertain grounds like feelings.  
"On the one hand....yes, on the other hand...no."  
  
"I'm sorry I couldn't make it easier for you, but I can't leave with you."  
Inwardly she sighed, fighting against her compassion, she stood up and   
prepared to leave.  
"Good bye, Kingo."  
  
"Good bye, Tokio." Taking the first steps towards the exit she left him   
behind, sitting alone at the table in the jelly-fish-light of the restaurant.  
  
He reached out one hand as if to hold her back,  
"Tokio?" She turned and faced him again "I would like to visit you and meet   
him finally."  
  
Her hesitating, thinking lasted only a few seconds before she answered.   
"I don't consider this to be a good idea, Kingo. We shouldn't meet again, this   
will make it easier for you."  
  
Meeting Hajime and seeing him together with her would not help him to digest   
his pain, hurt and finally let go, forget the remembrance of their love. It   
would only deepen the pain, watching them, seeing their sons. A life Kingo   
always wanted to share with her, watching another man having all he ever   
asked for?  
  
His chin dropped to his chest and he whispered, barely understandable "You are   
right." He hesitated, nearly unable to speak a last time to her.  
"My best wishes for your future and good bye."  
  
"The same to you, Kingo. I hope you find a new future for you. I'm sorry.   
Good-bye." For a second she considered of telling him that she still had   
feelings for him, but that would awake his hope. With a last glance at the   
lone, lost man sitting in one corner of the twilit inn, she left the house   
and started a walk around to ease her thoughts and to calm down her disturbed   
emotions.  
  
She had walked through Tokyo for some hours, it was already dark when she was   
in a right mood to go home and to face her family. Certainly her boys would   
be back again and a devilish smile formed on her lips imagining Hajime   
explaining her sons why she was not home.  
  
She opened the door to their house "I'm home!" and slipped out of her sandals,   
it was quiet, except the room on the right hand from where Tsuyoshi was   
shouting.  
  
"My God, Mum! That took ages! Where have you been?"  
  
Sliding the door open she registered much to her surprise that her 'men'   
were sitting together in the room patiently waiting for her return. The room   
was filled with cigarette smoke as one of Hajimes ever present cigarettes was   
still dangling between his lips. It was not the first one as she could tell   
from the full ash-tray she had forced him to use inside the house and the air   
inside the room.   
  
Why can't they just open the doors on both sides of the room, at least to have   
some fresh air? she silently wondered.  
  
Her youngest played excitedly with some wooden toys in one corner, while   
Tsuyoshi was reading in a book laying on his stomach beside him. Her eldest   
played a board game together with her husband. It was a strategy-game and   
much more to her surprise Hajime was loosing against his son. Stifling a   
laughter she registered Tsutomu's pride winning against his father. Hajime   
was not someone who would lose intentionally easy, Tsutomu must  
have used some good tricks that his father let him win as a 'reward'.   
  
Of course, if he would realise, that Hajime was losing on purpose, he would be   
deeply injured in his pride.   
  
Making his last move, defeating Hajime and getting high on his 'victory', he   
turned to his mother. "Where have you been mum?"   
  
Tokio met the eyes of her husband and exchanging only a short, knowing glance   
with him, she knew he expected her to come back. But she had to focus her   
attention back to her son, who impatiently continued with his demands  
"I'm hungry, I'm starving! I'm fed up with this soba father prepares. This   
noodles taste like nothing! Please Mum!"  
  
Closing her eyes she could scarcely stifle a laughter now, imagining her   
husband offering their sons soba, of course his favourite dish, but not his   
sons.  
"Well, don't panic, I'll head straight to the kitchen and prepare something   
eatable."   
Rewarded with a deathly glare from her husband and thankful glances from their   
sons she turned.  
  
"Pheee, about time Mum."  
  
Still being amused, she left the room, while she noticed that Hajime secretly   
watched her every step, every movement, in an intensity, a way, Kingo did   
earlier this way.   
  
It made her stiffening her back, she did not know why, but this time it   
touched her deep inside and she was sure that her husband was aware of it.  
  
***  
  
She was washing the rice when she heard the door opening and she looked up to   
see Hajime standing in it. Slightly she wondered why he was not smoking and   
spoke to him.  
  
"When did you realise that I wouldn't leave?"  
  
He smiled contentedly, sure about himself   
"I saw a new, expensive book lying on the bench. It had to be a present from   
him, too expensive that we could afford it. I recall he was well-off back   
then, but your father wanted a specific social rank for you, he wanted you to   
belong to the Samurai class." his lips curved into a cynical smile   
"Unfortunately we lost our rank, he couldn't foresee that, I guess."  
  
Recalling her father's behaviour, his excitement during the wedding ceremony,   
she smiled widely "Yes, father was obsessed by marrying me to a Samurai. But   
what about the book?"  
  
Before he continued, a smirk appeared on his face  
"You would never lay something away what is precious to you this carelessly.   
At least you would lay it in a room, not on a bench, the sun shining on it.   
It was then that I realised you would come back and stay."  
  
Their gaze locked again, this time he was sure, he saw affection for him.  
  
In the end, after fifteen long, lone years, she allowed him to touch her   
emotionally, she allowed him to enter a part of her from which she had   
excluded him before. Fascinated, unbelieving he stepped closer and touched   
her cheek with one hand, caressed it, the emotion that reflected in her eyes   
got stronger, he could clearly see it.   
  
The affection she had felt for him had at last turned to love. Love for him,   
accepting him as he was, who he was, what he was. He bent down and kissed her   
gently on her mouth, retreated after he had touched her. He had never thought   
she could feel this for him. It was not the burning fire, the passion she had   
held for this other man, what he spotted was a love and devotion he never   
believed she would be capable of, to share with HIM.  
  
"Tokio,.." Laying a hand over his mouth she stopped him from further talking   
for what she saw in his eyes was enough for her. The respect and acceptance   
filled with deeper emotions, after fifteen years she realised that he cared   
for her more than she expected.   
  
She had been blinded, not noticing earlier. She raised to her tip-toes, threw   
her arms around his neck and kissed him as passionate as she had kissed Kingo   
all these years ago.  
  
Aware of the fact that she didn't close her eyes this time he kissed her back,   
she didn't exclude him. For the first time she looked deep in his eyes while   
he held her, for the first time she spontaneous opened her mouth to explore   
him with her tongue.  
  
He couldn't help, this was more than he ever asked for, he pulled her closer,   
his hands running down her back, starting to untie her obi while she already   
had opened the hakama he was wearing at home. Letting lust taking control   
over her, she let her fingers slip under his shirt, never closing her eyes,   
always meeting his amber one's.  
  
"MUM! I want to walk across to Irie's later. Where is the meal! I'm starving!   
I want to go."  
  
Suddenly remembering their sons waiting for their dinner, their movements came   
to an abrupt halt and Tokio could not help but laugh at her husband's   
disappointed expression  
"Well, I don't know whose inheritance this impatience is, but I guess I'll   
better finish the preparations and get dinner ready."  
  
Regretting he placed the kimono he still had in his hands back on her   
shoulders closing it in front of her breast, not without casting a last   
longing glance at her.   
  
"Of course." He bent down to pick up his hakama and turned to leave the   
kitchen tying the open ends around his waist, but her voice stopped him.  
  
"We'll talk later? When the kids are sleeping?"  
Nodding his response he left the kitchen.  
  
Gathered in the one room they usually used for eating, playing, spending the   
day, they ate dinner in remarkable silence. Normally their sons told about   
their day, teased each other and brawled together.   
  
This evening they stayed quiet for they could feel something was going on, had   
changed in the relationship between their father and mother.  
  
But they were not able to tell what, was it a change for the better or the   
worse? They were exceptional polite and nice to each other, not having their   
common discussions and arguments.  
  
Tsutomu, for being the oldest and more aware of hidden signs, saw his mother's   
cheeks blushing as she noticed his father's intense stare at her. He narrowed   
his amber eyes, what was going on? But it was not within his range to find   
out this evening for they finished dinner more lately than usual. His younger   
brothers went to bed shortly after, already sleeping when he left to visit   
his friend, leaving his parents behind.   
  
Tokio and Hajime had settled down comfortable, drinking sake, recapitulating   
the events of the day. Resting her head against his chest, Tokio was c  
ompletely satisfied and waited for Hajime to start the talk  
"You waited fifteen years only for him to come back. Why didn't you leave? I   
thought this time you would follow your emotions, you know that I don't care."  
  
She snuggled closer for the position she was sitting in was getting   
uncomfortable.  
"Yes, I know, but I don't mind either."  
  
When she didn't mind why didn't she leave? Surprised he looked at the woman   
who desperately searched for a soft and cuddly place on his chest. Futile, he   
smiled sarcastically.   
"I can't give you what he would be able to offer you."  
  
Finally she had managed to find a more or less comfortable position and   
stopped moving around  
"Love and money is not every thing I ask for, I thought you would know this."  
  
Astonished he raised an eyebrow at her. She was a woman, why she did not act   
like one? They usually followed their irrational, unpredictable emotions and   
impulses, her decisions a mystery at most times.  
  
Feeling a slight movement, she knew he was surprised and started to explain.   
How to explain a feeling to an insensitive man? She had to give it a try.  
"It is another kind of love that I feel for you, Hajime. Not the wild,   
impetuous kind of love you feel when you are younger. The love I feel for you   
is based on other things, I think they could last longer, they are more   
well-founded. It is the respect and acceptance  
for who I am, it is the fifteen years I shared with you."  
  
He would never admit, but he was not able to follow her argumentation about   
emotions at full extent, but what mattered, she decided to stay  
"I thought you would follow the other love."  
  
"You should know me better by now."  
  
A contented smile appeared on his face and he started to annoy her  
"Yes, you are right, but still.. you are a woman. It is your nature to follow   
some silly emotions, unpredictable."  
  
She stiffened, he had been sure this would work   
"SILLY, you call my emotions silly?"  
  
Shrugging his shoulders, he decided to tease her more  
"Whatever? Silly, infantile, irrational,.. choose which one you want."  
  
With well-trained self-control she managed to chill her temper, there was   
still something she wanted to tell him  
"I want to start trusting in you and loving you, the barrier holding me back   
is gone. I hope this will be the beginning of something very deep and special."  
  
He embraced her from behind and kissed her gently in the neck, getting serious   
too.   
"You didn't leave, Tokio. I think this is special enough."  
  
"You are right. I never thought I would chose you, but I did."  
  
Sarcastically smiling he tightened his embrace  
"Guess, you will have to stay with me from now on, no matter what happens."  
  
Turning she hugged him back, lying her head against his forehead, looking deep   
in his eyes  
"Yes, I'm doomed."  
  
Finally they kissed each other gently while tightening their embrace.  
  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
No tomatoes and eggs please! Keeping Saito away from me is hard enough!!  
ARGH, I feel sick, far too romantic for my taste. Definitely OOC for Saito!   
I'm really lacking writing skills for this kind of stuff. Should write fast   
action stories   
again...  
  
Did I really wrote this? My god, I'll go and visit a psychologist right now,   
otherwise my sweet source of inspiration, known as 'boyfriend', will declare   
me for insane. Next one will be a Saito-parody, I'm afraid...  
  
First posted: 8th March 2002  
Revised and re-posted: 26th March 2002  
second re-post: 11th December 2002  
  
Ja ne,  
  
Mara 


End file.
